Random Night II

Great. Now I want to write. There’s gotta’ be a way to dodge writer’s block. There’s a time during the day I’m zombified unless I’m jacked up on caffeine. Man, did I have a blast in Seattle. I’ve lived there for almost, well actually, I did live there for 10 years. And, of course, yes I went to school there, and yes, I didn’t finish because I quit. I went to a private University and then after that, I went for an on-line degree to get my Master’s, didn’t finish that either because I felt like it wasn’t accredited and wanted to take a totally different major and wanted to start over with another Bachelor’s degree so I started in another College. Yes, confirmed I had Bipolar there OR it could have also been a Quarter Life Crisis. It doesn’t always have to be a brain disorder, but still, but yeah.. yeah, well… YAHWELL. And now, I’m back to square one and I’m okay with that. Without the hospitalizations or the voluntarily commitments that I made, I don’t think I would have been able to face that hurtful fact that I was a quitter. It took me long enough but it’s better to have wasted it on my twenties than to have wasted it for the whole entirety of my life. Now, I’m jacked up with caffeine again when I’m supposed to be taking a shower because it’s time to get ready for bed! It’s these damn cravings! After I ate dinner, which was another craving that I had to fix, I sat there and all of a sudden, I had a craving for Coke. Just out of the blue. I don’t even drink sodas but the craving was legitimately real. Or as they say, “The struggle is real.” That saying cracks me up. So, I sat there, blinked at my empty dish and I’m like, “Fuck, great. Just great. Now I have to get my coat on… but I’m leaving my furry slippers on. I don’t care. Keep it real, man. Keep it real.” And, off I went to the grocery store. I love going on trips there… and I was back right after. Did self check-out myself. And, I’m back.

Anyway, I don’t know why I’m even writing, what my point of writing is in the first place? I was just supposed to write about… the introduction to my first hospitalization, what it did to me and for me… the experience I’ve had when I was in a residential treatment program and the amazing people that I have come across in my life and how I want to share so many things, beautiful things, even when the world got tough. And that I’m jacked up with caffeine so it’s easier for me to flow. In the morning or during the early times of the day, it’s like… like, yeah. Just like that.

Okay, enough stalling. No more “five more minutes” or “ten more minutes”. I’m screwed if I don’t do my hair tonight and take my meds soon because we all know what happens if we don’t get our sleep, Kel! Mhmm… and I just got caught up with rest so the stress is finally kept to a minimum, so shower, wash up for bed, meds during blow drying hair so they kick in and I knock out. Wake up early, get ready for work and leave early so that I get there at the exactly the same time I would even when I leave late or on time. So lame.

And remember, don’t react, don’t respond… go beyond and RISE.

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astateofreality

I am currently doing a 365 day challenge of listening to my favorite motivational speaker. I will be listening/reading to Les Brown for the next 365 days and then blogging about my self-improvement of all different aspects of my life called the well-rounded wheel: health, financial, mental, spiritual, intellectual, family, social, etc. I will use this to self-reflect for my growth in self-improvement. This blog is for my 5-year plan. I started this in 2015, August on my Birthday because I’ve realized that time just keep passing by and doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results has finally sunk into my brain that I was one of them thinking that I would get different results. That stopped on my Birthday last year. Now, I do check-ins during New Year’s Eve/Day which I just did my first one 2 nights ago. I like doing mine on my Birthday because it’s for me AND doing New Year’s resolution puts too much pressure on people and if they break it, they beat themselves up, lose their drive and just give up. I’ve come to realize that what works for me is working on myself for myself on my Birthday and then just doing check-ins New Year’s Eve/Day and this keeps me focused and motivated. 1 year is not enough. You need big goals, like 5 years and let 1 year be a milestone. (More on that on my blogs). I have broken down my dreams into goals and plans. I allocated them into smaller goals and plans and put them into SMART goals plans: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-sensitive, because, c’mon….dreams don’t come true UNTIL you write them down into action plans, and hence, this site is born for MY OWN DREAMS. There will be inspirational quotes, inspirational articles with my take on them, and plenty other resources of inspirational/motivational everything and everyone that I can think of to assist in my personal growth and all aspects of my life. And, most importantly… it’s my place to write about whatever I want to write about and anything that interests me, so this is also a hobby for myself. So, welcome, come along the journey ride and watch me grow or you can tag along and grow with me. Happy New Year! My 2016 is amazing so far!! :) It’s also a place for me to just… grow and express my creativity and learn about myself.

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