I have a bunch of ideas, but as soon as I sit right in front of the screen, they’re frozen. They’re gone. There’s so much that I’m learning and creating at the same time. I really wanted to talk about medication management and how pissed I was when they took some of my shit out and then another I had was to write what the rest of the month would look like in terms of topics to write about. Another one was what I was going to write about myself, like 10 things to 100 things about myself, because that seems fun to do. I read a few bloggers doing that and it looks fun. And then, there’s the explanation that I’m just writing through stream of consciousness without editing—just brain dump. I haven’t written in 11 years—like, I haven’t had my own personal blog since MySpace days. My blog was in Xanga a long ass time ago. And I’m still confused how I want to manage the next month on this blog. Do I go past 500 words or do I just dump the shit out of my brain and go past 1,000? I guess I’ll go for as long as I want. My writing is really bad though, but *sigh*, they said not to worry about your writing, punctuations, and grammar. As I’ve mentioned before, I haven’t read a book in sooooo long, so my writing sucks so much ass. Not only that, my vocabs bad. I think I will stop putting myself down now and start thinking without stopping…
So… today wraps around my world. Of course. Everyone’s world wraps around their own world. But, mine has 3 segments. One would be my passions (this one) which includes sketching (or coloring Mandalas- Art), then there’s writing (this), and then there’s my experiments: meditating and listening to motivational speakers. These are my 30-day and 90-day experiments and at the end of the experiments, I write down how my life has adjusted or how it has affected me based on how I was before I meditated and before I listened to motivational speakers. It hasn’t even been a good solid 3 weeks in for both experiments and I’ve already seen some positive improvements in my thinking. But, I have skipped a few days because of Thanksgiving so I’m feeling anxious… I’m in transition so I think I need to meditate more now than ever. It’s nothing super deep. I just sit there and listen to someone tell me (guided meditation app) to inhale, hold it, exhale, hold it and then inhale and exhale again. Five minutes to ten, then I’m done. It’s boring, but when I read all these articles (like from Mind Body Green), I had to do this daily. Good shit for the mind and body. If it helps my bag of nuts, then why not. If it helps getting me closer to my dreams and helps add to my coping skills, then why not. After these experiments, the next 30-day one is watching Family Guy for 30 days straight. That one is for my honey. He wants me to watch that for December. He loves that show—knows it word for word. He’s so excited, it’s silly. My first 30-day was watching the Kardashians. It was fun at first because it was dumb. Everything was dumb. I didn’t think any of it because they’re just talking shit, gossiping about one another but then as the days went on and they started bitching more about each other and they were in all these really nice locations, with all that money and beautiful shit, yada yada… I started getting pissed off. How can you argue with people and wish to go home and you’re at a beautiful resort? Let’s just say the last 14 days till the end of the 30-day was taxing. I was relieved it was over with. I didn’t even bother writing about it. I was just glad it was over with. Next is motivational stuff, and that’s where I am right now.
Today… get shit done. I can’t believe I’m already past 500. I wanted to write some more. There’s more.
For now I leave you with a question… if you were to do something for 30 days straight. What would it be and why this and why now?
You already know mine… it’s listening to motivational speakers. Every day, till the 9th. Why now? Because it erases the memories of that useless show that depleted my brain cells in my head from watching the Kardashians.
And remember: do not react, do not respond… go beyond, and RISE.
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