DAY 5 II: WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

I’m here for self-improvement. Passion. Dreams. Goals. Plans. Motivation. Inspiration. Not just mental illness stuff. I’m here to talk about stuff like that and hope to support ending stigma in my own little way. “Ending stigma” seems a little ambitious because I think we are always evolving as a human race… there are always going to be ignorant people and even if they are informed about mental illness, they’re still going to judge regardless. So, I’d like to consider it as… spreading knowledge instead. To be honest with you, I really think people are missing out because I have met some amazing people who have Bipolar, depression, or borderline personality. My close friend that I met at the nut hut (we called it that), she’s fucking hilarious. She’s in her late 50’s but she’s like this chick in her 20s stuck in a fifty-something year old body. Then, my roommate back in the day, she had bipolar and borderline personality disorder and she was straight-up a Leo. I asked her about her stories when she was younger, before she had her daughter, and how she had hooked up with this really hot dentist when she was only 16 and how he had given her an $8k necklace. 8k? 8 thousand… the fuck. I can’t even. Just eight thousand dollar diamond necklace. Mmkay. And no, I didn’t ask if he was compensating for the size of his dick. Okay, come on, who am I kidding. Hello, outspoken people over here! LOL I don’t know. I don’t remember. We were just hanging out before lights out. What’s my point anyway? That we are awesome. We are just like everyone else, but we are one step closer to our dreams because we at least know what the problems/issues are and can infiltrate them with solutions and coping skills where as there are some ignorant people out there who think they’re “normal” (which doesn’t exist) and just move along with their boring ass lives, judging other people and not getting anywhere in their lives. I mean, I guess… there’s always hope that we can end stigma just like how Martin Luther King Jr. made his dreams come true, but is it shallow of me to say it’s because it was visual? One thing’s for sure: mental illness does not discriminate. It can hit a poor person, rich person, black, white, purple… don’t matta.

Today was really hard. It was hard getting through today because this weather SUCKS ASS. I mean, I’m grateful to be warm and cozy watching some Netflix, but I hate being cooped up! I hate it. I’m used to heat, hot, sunshine, and… LIGHT. Darkness and rain is fun, too…  when it’s time for bed like right now, so I’m doing okay now, but if it’s after lunch and early evening, I just don’t know what to do with myself. I have depression but it’s under wraps because I’ve been maintaining my health, but it comes in and out because of my mood swings so I’ve been coloring hard on my Mandalas today. I’ve finished one and took a photo of it. Buuuuuut, my iphone died sooooo I’ll just have to upload it some other time. I even included my little cute “keep calm and drink tea” tea set that I get overly excited about. Yay 551 words. I’m good and this is my second blog for the day.

After this, reading a chapter of a book that I just bought, meditate, and wind down for bed. I can’t wait for Friday… buuuuuuut um, oh yeah, I finished listening to a motivational speaker tonight. So, I’m back on a roll with my to-do. One day at a time is what I say to comfort myself when I don’t know what to do next… just, one, day, at, a time…

And remember: don’t react. Don’t respond… go beyond… and RISE.

*yep. Unedited*

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astateofreality

I am currently doing a 365 day challenge of listening to my favorite motivational speaker. I will be listening/reading to Les Brown for the next 365 days and then blogging about my self-improvement of all different aspects of my life called the well-rounded wheel: health, financial, mental, spiritual, intellectual, family, social, etc. I will use this to self-reflect for my growth in self-improvement. This blog is for my 5-year plan. I started this in 2015, August on my Birthday because I’ve realized that time just keep passing by and doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results has finally sunk into my brain that I was one of them thinking that I would get different results. That stopped on my Birthday last year. Now, I do check-ins during New Year’s Eve/Day which I just did my first one 2 nights ago. I like doing mine on my Birthday because it’s for me AND doing New Year’s resolution puts too much pressure on people and if they break it, they beat themselves up, lose their drive and just give up. I’ve come to realize that what works for me is working on myself for myself on my Birthday and then just doing check-ins New Year’s Eve/Day and this keeps me focused and motivated. 1 year is not enough. You need big goals, like 5 years and let 1 year be a milestone. (More on that on my blogs). I have broken down my dreams into goals and plans. I allocated them into smaller goals and plans and put them into SMART goals plans: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-sensitive, because, c’mon….dreams don’t come true UNTIL you write them down into action plans, and hence, this site is born for MY OWN DREAMS. There will be inspirational quotes, inspirational articles with my take on them, and plenty other resources of inspirational/motivational everything and everyone that I can think of to assist in my personal growth and all aspects of my life. And, most importantly… it’s my place to write about whatever I want to write about and anything that interests me, so this is also a hobby for myself. So, welcome, come along the journey ride and watch me grow or you can tag along and grow with me. Happy New Year! My 2016 is amazing so far!! :) It’s also a place for me to just… grow and express my creativity and learn about myself.

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