DAY 14: GO BEYOND THIS BITCH

Alright, that’s it. It’s time to recuperate. I’m tired today. My mind is alert but I’m pissed off that the rain won. How? Because I had my hoodie on and I sprinted from one end of the street to the parking lot and my hoodie fell off and my hair got wet. I almost let a bitch stranger win, too but I handled that pretty well today. I’m tired, though. It’s weird because I am mentally awake, but I don’t want to move and I think it’s because of this weather so I’m in bed listening to some Jazz Holiday, candles lit and every fucking light-bulb in the room is on. I don’t have day-light lamps or whatever they’re called but as soon as I get my next paycheck, that’s the first thing I’m going to buy. I will invest in more than one because this depression is no fucking joke. I gotta’ keep investing in myself in order to be productive. It’s a cycle and it starts from within.

Anyway, I am always busy and productive. I make sure it’s productive busy and I was going to go straight to the office today after lunch but I’m tired so I’m going to work in bed for the day. I also gave myself a treat and made chocolate chip pancakes for lunch. Yes, after my errands this late morning, I was actually driving pretty slow through the parking lot area and some bitch was crossing in front of me and I didn’t see her until she was actually in front of me. Mind you, I was going hella’ slow, like 3 mph slow and I waved and said sorry with a smile and she fucking mouthed out to me to “STOP”. She must suck big dicks because it didn’t take a genius to read her mouth. I was like, “Damn. What a bitch.” I could have gone out of my way and said, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH. IMA GO BIPOLAR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER UP IN YOUR ASS CUNT ASS MOTHER FUCKER.” But, no. I didn’t. I’m a very sweet girl. I just smiled and waved “sorry”. Then the caring voice inside of me was like, “What the fuck? Holy crap, what’s her problem? Where’s her car at? Ima key that bitch’s car. Where’s it at?” And I’m like, “Don’t worry about it. That’s on her. Not on you. Please, move on from it. We have a lot of shit to do today. Don’t let her rent space in your head.” And, then I was like, “Yeah, I know. But, I swear, every fucking time we go to this fucking store some idiot does some shit and I have to deal with it.” Now, see, if I didn’t have OCD and mood swings, I would have let this go and I wouldn’t even be blogging about it. AND, I was shopping for fun. I had to really focus to enjoy shopping and I was able to do that because I gave myself a treat… CHOCOLATE CHIPS!! Semi-sweet. They’re yummy when you bake ‘em because they soak into the ingredients and taste bitter-sweet. Mmm… so, I went into the store, got what I needed and then I came back out and looked around for her trying to figure out which one was her car because I was really, really pissed! I seriously wanted to key this bitch’s car. And you already know that I wanted to do this to somebody else’s car but my Wise Mind told me not to. Instead, I just slid my hand across the body of their car, which by the way was fun… and again my voice to myself was like, “Where she at. I’m serious. I’ll fucking key her shit.” And then I said, “I know you will.” And then, “No, I’m fucking serious, ima key that bitch’s car.” And then I responded back with, “Yes, I know. Let’s just go.” And it went on like this while I was in the car, repeated it again, while I was backing out, repeated it some more, then I was driving away, and finally the conversation drifted away as I parked into a different parking lot to go buy me some chocolate chips. Then this is what I told myself. “If I buy you chocolate chips for your damn pancakes, you have to promise me to let this go.” … “OKAY!” 😀 There. Everyone’s happy. Done. I blogged about it. I’m good. Done. I’ll most probably tell My Honey what happened, and tell him my little convo in my head and gave myself a treat like a little kid to let this whole thing go. Dude, if you only saw her face, she was totally over-reacting. Take note: She REACTED. Obviously, somebody needs work. I mean, there were hella’ cars out there! I had to stop FOR THEM. She had to walk right up in front of me. It’s like she wanted to get in the way to yell AT ME. This is why I don’t yell or do crazy shit when I’m in my car though, because you just never know who is in the receiving end… in her case, I WAS on the receiving end. She was just lucky I didn’t key her car in, because I totally would have. I know you would… no, I’m serious… I really would have this time… yes, Kel, I know, seriously…. Remember, you’d let this go if I get you your chocolate chips… yes, I know, but you believe me, right… yep. Just next time, yell back at them and tell them to get out of the fucking way…

IMG_5731-1
There they are, ready to melt into my pancake mix. Shoko-lit-ships Pan-kicks.

but then they might key MY CAR… exactly, or they could be crazy. No, wait. Crazy? Oh no! Crazy! Crazy people scare me!… /sarcasm. This blog is outta’ control… for reals… lol I’m done. I’m sugar high off my chocolate chip pancakes… lol I’m seriously done for now lol… but, seriously… I really would have… right?… NAH. I’m too old for that shit… I’m supposed to RISE… she’s the one who REACTED. My duty is to rise. So… I rose. And treated myself with… shokolate-sheep-pan-keekz. And everything is all good in da hood…. yo.

And remember, kids. When someone bitches at you because they have a miserable life and want to take it out on you in the rain… just smile and know that you are the bigger person because you know that at the end of the day, there are chocolate chips waiting for you. Amen.

Go beyond… and RISE… for chocolate chips.

Disclaimer: And no, I would not key her car. I would not stoop that low for anybody.

Word Count: 1,115

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astateofreality

I am currently doing a 365 day challenge of listening to my favorite motivational speaker. I will be listening/reading to Les Brown for the next 365 days and then blogging about my self-improvement of all different aspects of my life called the well-rounded wheel: health, financial, mental, spiritual, intellectual, family, social, etc. I will use this to self-reflect for my growth in self-improvement. This blog is for my 5-year plan. I started this in 2015, August on my Birthday because I’ve realized that time just keep passing by and doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results has finally sunk into my brain that I was one of them thinking that I would get different results. That stopped on my Birthday last year. Now, I do check-ins during New Year’s Eve/Day which I just did my first one 2 nights ago. I like doing mine on my Birthday because it’s for me AND doing New Year’s resolution puts too much pressure on people and if they break it, they beat themselves up, lose their drive and just give up. I’ve come to realize that what works for me is working on myself for myself on my Birthday and then just doing check-ins New Year’s Eve/Day and this keeps me focused and motivated. 1 year is not enough. You need big goals, like 5 years and let 1 year be a milestone. (More on that on my blogs). I have broken down my dreams into goals and plans. I allocated them into smaller goals and plans and put them into SMART goals plans: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-sensitive, because, c’mon….dreams don’t come true UNTIL you write them down into action plans, and hence, this site is born for MY OWN DREAMS. There will be inspirational quotes, inspirational articles with my take on them, and plenty other resources of inspirational/motivational everything and everyone that I can think of to assist in my personal growth and all aspects of my life. And, most importantly… it’s my place to write about whatever I want to write about and anything that interests me, so this is also a hobby for myself. So, welcome, come along the journey ride and watch me grow or you can tag along and grow with me. Happy New Year! My 2016 is amazing so far!! :) It’s also a place for me to just… grow and express my creativity and learn about myself.

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