DAY 25 II: I THINK I’M GOOD FOR NOW

I’ve come up with some ideas. I still need at least 11 books for the next year if I’m going to read 1 book a month. That’s just a minimum to keep me straight and to stick to my goals. So, if I read 1 book a month, then that’s 12 books in a year. Those are going to be self-improvement, motivational books: confidence, success, finance, etc. I’m not sure yet. I have one already. I’m reading it right now, The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. I’m going to read it again for January, 2016, but properly and take down notes and really follow what he says. Then, I have 11 months of self-improvement books. I did my research, but I haven’t come up with any so I’m going to have to wait until they come to me. I know I’ve been craving The Power To Unleash Your Inborn Drive by TD Jakes. It’s about following your instincts. So, that’s most probably counted as my 2nd. So, my minimum is 12, and since my new motto is to GO PRO and BLOW SHIT OUT OF THE WATER, because it’s either you go BIG or you go home, which I am NOT, then I’ll most probably double the number of books I will read next year and then some… so, 35 books. Minimum of 12 self-improvement (reread to apply in life) and then the rest can be like, Hunger Games (wanted to wait till it died down) and some cheesy shit, like Mad Love. That’s a really good novel. It already came out with the second part. It’s set in the Maldives, like the resort. Some hot chick in her twenties, graduated or was doing law in UCLA, and then she decided to do some soul searching because she’s an artist and ends up going to the Maldives with her best gay friend and his boyfriend. While she’s there, she meets the hottest guy she’s ever laid eyes on and the rest, you look it up. The setting is beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to read that during the cold seasons of the Pacific Northwest? I know, right? I read it last year around this time, too, when I was at the Oasis. Anyway, 35 it is.

I’ve also found some stuff to do for my 30-day, but I haven’t bombarded myself yet because I still have to solidify exactly what is on my wheel. I know there is finance, physical, spiritual, social, intellect (HUGE), etc… but I gotta’ really establish it. This month is all about that. Every day, every night and I only have 7 days left to do this. And, I’m supposed to be decluttering and since I can’t throw some of this shit away, I will have to carry it on to January, 2016, no later than that, and sell them on-line. Make a few moolas for MH and me. So far, this is what I came up with:

  • Create a tracking system on my finances (daily)
  • Watch make-up artists off of YouTube for a 30-day-challenge
  • Listen to Les Brown for 365-day-challenge while coloring Mandalas
  • Declutter (shit!)
  • Meditate (my 90-day-challenge will be completed on the 2nd week of Feb)- so I’ll have to level this up to Level 2 and find apps or check out some retreats on the weekends and see what the next steps are from there.
  • Smoothies 30-day-challenge
  • Modify my on-line tracker
  • Sell new fitbit and get a better/best fitbit
  • Motivational books (need 11 more) write them on my vision board where I can see the list
  • Walk 10 minutes a day for a 30-day-challenge, because I will start training for marathons for 2017 (it’s so I get my vitamin D in)
  • Gratitude one note a day about My Honey  365-day-challenge or until Thanksgiving 2016 for My Honey to read (write a note and put it in a jar daily)
  • List 5 things I’m grateful for a 30-day-challenge
  • List 3 things I’m grateful for a 365-day-challenge
  • This one is very important: Work. I’m going to create my own Work Evaluation worksheet. It’s to observe/analyze what my performance is like at work based on m performance, character, skill and growth as a contributor; how am I doing based on time management, project deadlines, creativity, etc.

I know… it looks a lot, but some of them are only for thirty days. Once they’re done, I’ll implement them into my life, such as a habit and then it becomes a no-brainer because they become second nature. It’s from The Compound Effect book, by Darren Hardy. It’s a small, easy to read type of book, but it’s mashed in sooooo much, intense substance that I can only read at least 5 pages at time a day, because I want to retain them and not miss out on ANYTHING. All I know is that these 30-day-challenges will be beneficial to my well being and the quality of my life. No more reality bull shit shows. It was a good experience for my first 30-day-challenge to watch though. Because now, I’m more grateful than ever– that I don’t live an ungrateful lifestyle like theirs. Oh, and of course, follow your dreams, turn them into SMART goals, take it one day at a time, and bam, got my dream job. So, that’s all for now. I gotta’ go back to my drawing board, or vision mission board and my wellness wheel to see which one needs 30-day-challenges like, Academics (go back to school for that Bachelor’s degree in Graphic Design), but break them down to the tiniest pieces by just taking one class. Introduction to Photoshop I. I already know Photoshop pretty well, but I’m starting over—fresh. But, that’s a tiny bite. Les Brown says, “A yard is hard,” but an inch… is a cinch. There you have it. Oh! And lastly, he said to memorize quotes daily. I’m thinking, I’ll just do one a week, put it up on my vision mission drawing board where I can see it and memorize it. Total that up in one year and that’s around 90 quotes in one year. Yep. It compounded into goal achievement. Bam. Ka-doink. The sound of an achievement off an xbox somewhere.

So, that’s what I’ll be doing for the rest of this year. Rounding up aaaaalllll this shit and organizing the yearly (365-day-challenges), monthly (30-day-challenges), tri-monthly (90-day-challenges- mainly about health to add as a habit- might be cooking), and then weekly for check-ins and then daily/evenings, just a quick review under 5 minutes a night. Sundays are the weekly check ups. I do half a year as well– well around that time. My New Year’s list or “resolutions” (such a fucking dumb word. Nobody keeps it.) I start mine on my Birthday, which is during the Summer. So, I start there. Then, in half a year, which is New Year’s time, I just do a check in. I’ve got my 5-year plan and off of that, I have my so-and-so-day-challenges. Okay, I’m good. See, without medication, healthy diet, some exercise, meditation and a splash of caffeine, I wouldn’t have been able to actually follow through where my dreams… become, literally a reality.

I’m excited. So, time to round up my well-rounded wheel and put all these down on a calendar and print out my calendars, write down some quotes on my vision mission/drawing board and buy some stickers from the Dollar Tree. I only skipped one night this month of meditation. That’s not bad. I’ve attached a photo to this blog. I think I’m good.

And remember, go BIG. You got no other choice. GO PRO… by BLOWING SHIT OUT OF THE WATER.

Word count: 1,180

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DAY 22: I QUIT

I still don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing with this blog. It’ll eventually come to me, but for now… I write. But, I do have some ideas to it… and I’ve finally crossed one off my list. I’m not going to hide my bag of nuts on my blogs, but I’ve decided that I’m not going to advertise it either so my life is not going to be about my illness anymore. It’s going to evolve when the 31 day writing challenge is over… it’ll most probably focus more on my thirty day challenges and how it’s affecting my life or the lessons that I learn from them. Right now, I’m doing Family Guy. The month before this, it was listening to motivational speakers like Jack Canfield, Darren Hardy and Les Brown, to name a few and before that, the first one that I did was Keeping Up With The Kardashians. It was the worst month of my thirty day experiment. All they did in their show was complain, complain, complain. Complained about each other, complained about their weight, complained about opportunities and they just complained about everything. They complained about things they didn’t have and things that they did have. This affected my thinking. I was ready to be done with it and when it was time to do motivational speakers, I was ready. So, I did motivational speakers and I would listen to them every, single day while coloring mandalas. Not even 8 days in and I was already seeing results. I was back to being grateful to things, accomplishing more, goals were shaved into SMART goals: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-sensitive goals. I went through a lot of changes in November that really helped me get through it, most especially because I get depressed during this Season. I was really scared that I would end up in the hospital again because I have in my past for years. I would get my shit back in order during Winter Season and then when April hits, it’s there again. I don’t know if it’s rapid cycling or if it’s just me being careless and not loving myself in a way where I’m not taking care of my basic necessities and allowing my stress to get to me. All I know is, I’m tired of having auditory hallucinations and now that I know how to target them (keep stress to a minimum), then I can focus on my goals. Mind you… NOT DREAMS, but plans, goals, vision mission. Solid shit that I can GET SHIT DONE. Dreams are nice. But they don’t get anything done. I have dreams, but as soon as they’re on paper, they’re not my dreams anymore. They are goals and plans that I follow on paper anymore. I follow my HEART… but yeah, dreams? Ha. Ever since I turned 35 this past year? And my dreams didn’t come true? I was like, fuck this shit, ima make this shit come true and one of them came true and now I don’t know what the fuck to do with myself. I’m scared shitless so I have to make some new challenges. Day to day challenges so I don’t just sit here and do jack shit like I used to do in my twenties. So, enter new year’s resolutions. I’m still thinking about it and in order for me or you to keep them, it’s really simple: Take it one day at a time. That’s my weapon. Actually, stickers help a lot. I print out my calendar, make it a thirty day thing, get some cute stickers and then post it on there. You don’t want to see a day skipped because it looks awesome when you have 7 stickers in a row. It works for me when I am doing my 90-day meditation. I am on my 35th day of meditation already. I’ve skipped a few, but it still looks good. Once the 90 days are over, I’ll have to see what’s next from there. Do I find a meditation retreat? Do I buy a meditation app, like a legit one that you purchase so it has more substance to it. Do I research and have a mentor? You level up. You don’t want to just stay there. And that’s what I’ve learned from… my past. I really reflected and realized that once I accomplished a tiny goal, like I’ve said, I got comfortable and then I would crash and fail. After failure, after failure, after hospitalization, after hospitalization, I’ve finally realized that once you’ve reached that milestone, that goal, that plan, that DREAM that has been written down AS A milestone, a goal, a plan, A WRITTEN DREAM—DO NOT STOP THERE. DON’T. STOP. THERE. That’s what I learned and since my dreams didn’t all come true at the age that I expected it to be, at 28, I’m all balls out now. It’s on, now. It’s never too late to follow your heart, your dreams and make them into a reality because TIME WILL PASS ANYWAY. That’s what Earl Nightingale said. Anyway, I’ve been thinking and I do not do New Year’s Resolutions but if you want to do one, make it easy. Do what I did. I said “Never to poke back anyone on Facebook anymore.” I’ve been successful because it’s so easy. If you don’t know how to find a resolution, make a five year plan, pick one out of your wheel: financial, physical, mental, health, intellectual, talent, emotional, partnership, family, spiritual… and then stick to it. How? Calendar that shit up and do it elementary way—STICKERS. Print calendars from Word, customize it like I did with mine and buy stickers from the Dollar Tree store. They have thumbs up stickers there. They’re cute. The only thing I use New Years for are check-ins. Have I been doing my New Year’s Resolutions? And what I mean by that is, have I been keeping up with my decisions. Because, I do my New Year’s Resolutions on my BIRTHDAY. Every 6 months after my Birthday and New Years, I do a check-in: How is my yearly, my 6 months, monthly and weekly and how are these reflected from my daily and then I ask them through my well-rounded wheel of financial, physical, mental, health, emotional, relationship, family, spiritual, etc. Yeah…. There IS a lot. It takes practice.

So for this December, I’m doing Family Guy. And, I’m doing some thinking of my well rounded wheel because I have 12 months ahead… That’s 12 thirty-day challenges that I can accumulate and a couple 90-day challenges as well. For my 365 day challenge, I have already decided to do Les Brown. Out of all the motivational speakers, he is the one I want to listen to because he doesn’t try to drop names or sell you anything. I will listen to his shit on YouTube, find podcasts, read his shit on his website, leave no rock unturned on his site, read all his books and I will invest on stuff I can buy from him that I can view or listen to. If I can afford to go to a seminar, I’m doing it. Then, I will level up and find myself a good life coach who believes in the direction that I believe in with Les Brown, but that’s my goal for 365 days. If you challenge yourself and say I have a 365-day challenge versus “I have a new year’s resolution to quit smoking or I want to lose weight and I’m signing up for the gym”… what’s the probability of you sticking to it? *shakes head* That’s just my view. Anyway, so I have my 365 day patted down. I have 11 months left of good stuff. My January will be… hm… not sure yet since Les Brown is already the whole year. For sure, I’m going to check my wheel and do finance. Do something daily about money. Maybe I’ll do something related to art. Watch some do it yourself shit. There’s a lot of options but at least I did the 365… I’ve already come up with some ideas:

Color Mandalas.

I’m thinking of creating some, too. Like, serious ones both free hand, guided with rulers, AND use Illustrator and then give these away for free. I don’t know if this blog will evolve to that or I’ll have an Art Blog. I’m really not sure. I don’t know if I’ll continue on the path of doing a blog about my mental health. I really don’t know. I do know that I have a lot of stories to share when it comes to like… hallucinations, struggles of being in and out of hospitals… I’ll just keep writing and see how it goes till the end of the thirty one day challenge on this thing.

Declutter

Meditate

Smoothies

Track quantification

Motivational books

Walk 10 minutes a day

Gratitude List

Gratitude Jar for my honey and life

So the declutter is going to end this year. I have very little boxes left, but I need a whole month next year where I’ll focus on it and really get rid of EVERYTHING. It’s hard for me because they’re all memories or things that I could use in the future, but it’s okay. I’ll just buy new stuff. Like, my dres are awesome. They still sound good, but if I let those go… imagine the new shit I can buy for new beats? Right?

Meditation. Well, that’s going to be a part of my lifestyle. I’ve already made this a challenge project so I don’t think I’ll make this another one next year. It’ll be a given that it’s incorporated in my life. That’s the reason why they’re in my day to day challenges. It’s to eventually create habits, compound these into goals. When you add all these small minutes, over time… it makes a big difference.

Smoothies. I’ve been thinking about this. But, I’m also thinking about my diet in terms of cooking and eating. I’m always stuck on this because it’s so fucking overwhelming. So… I don’t know yet. I’ll have to do some research. Maybe I should do like a daily challenge of like… cook something every night but it can be the same recipe for the whole week then the next week, a different one, and then the last week, combine all three… hm… then I can just do the smoothies some other time. Another month.

Track Quantification. I have a fitbit. I was going to sell it. I might sell it and just get a newer and better version. I am a logger. I love tracking everything from sleep, to what I drink, to what I spend… because towards the end of the year or months, I like creating graphs out of them and then painting them with acrylic into a masterpiece because it’s fun. You’re painting your life with what you’ve “intake”’d in. I love data analysis. I’m a research analyst… so a massive amount of data from research is very fulfilling and satisfying for my brain. I love it. It’s good stuff.

Motivational books. It’s time to get back to reading books. I LOVE reading. I just haven’t had the time but now that I have day to day challenges and they seem to work for me?… shit, I don’t even know where I got this idea but it works. Um… that reminds me. I’m going to buy a camera and start vlogging. But, it’s going to be off line. It’s for me to check in everyday if I’ve been keeping up with my well rounded wheel. I’m doing this for the quality of my life, my happiness, to feel good, to be happy, to make the most out of life. Anyway, I’ll be doing maybe, five pages a day? It’s not much but if you add all those five pages a day for 31 days…? It’s a book. Then you do this for 12 months? It adds up yo. So, I’ll focus on some motivational books next year. I don’t know if I’ll be reading any fiction. I need to focus on one genre because I have to have focus. I noticed that I am more on the intellectual side because I am focusing from within and then it’ll go outwards. Meaning, working out and running is also on my list. I’m ready to prepare for a marathon but my first marathon will be in 2017. I have to take it easy and do it slow so one of the things that’s going to be on my day to day challenge is walking every day for 31 days. Just 10 minutes a day, and yes, you got it, add those and it becomes hours… miles. That’s the whole point. I read this off the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. Plus, this is part of my mindfulness as well. I think I’ll do this for January but I’ll always be doing a thirty day challenge intellectually by watching/reading something. Les Brown’s the foundation.

Gratitude. I have 2. This one will also be a 365 day thing, but I think I want to focus on a thirty day challenge where I write 5 things that I am grateful for. I usually do 3 things daily. But just for 30-31 days, I’ll do 5 things to be grateful for and for the rest of the year, it can be 3. I’m just jump starting my habit. Then the one I’m excited for is for my Honey. I’m going to design a big ass jar. I learned this from Darren Hardy as well. I’m going to design a big ass jar, and every day, I’ll get a tiny piece of paper and write down one thing that I am grateful for my Honey every, single day for the whole year. Then, I’ll present this to him on Thanksgiving 2016. So when all of this solidifies, the goal is to be naturally grateful every, single day. Daily, at least 3 things to be grateful for, which is after my 5 things to be grateful for thirty day challenge.

Where did I get all these ideas? Well… it isn’t going to be for a year. I’m building this up to prepare me for my forties. This is part of my 5-year plan and entering to my 10-year plan. That’s why new Year’s resolutions are bull shit because it’s a new “year”, meaning 1 year. That’s only 12 months. It takes how many days to get into the groove of things, and by the time you do, it’s already the end of the year. You gotta get momentum going… So… I got these from my five year plan and have broken them down to yearly and into day to day… ONE DAY AT A TIME daily challenges.

Done.

And my New Year’s Resolution? If I had one? Is a saying in my head…

I QUIT!… I quit quitting. I’m going to continue blogging for the next five years. I’m going to be working on this blog but I want it to focus on my passions. Join the ride if not, thank you for stopping by. It’s not for everyone. But, it’s definitely a great outlet for me.

And, I’m going to get myself a wrist band that says, “Blow shit out of water.” And, “Go pro”. This’ll remind me to always go beyond and RISE to the occasion. It means do your best, always go beyond the extra mile. Meaning, don’t just go the extra mile—go BEYOND THAT AND THEN SOME. Hm… maybe I should add that on there.

And remember, kids. Go pro and go beyond. RISE.

Word Count: Shit out of the water… and beyond.