So I had a dream that I was eating debris of weed that were left over from a Ziploc bag in the bathroom. I remember just sitting there on the floor chewing them up. I felt the rush hit my head and I was high and anxious at the same time and then it just dawned on me why I stopped smoking (in my dream). This was a dream and in that dream I said, “Oh no no no, shit. I forgot! I get hallucinations when I smoke! I better stop!” Then next thing I knew I had a half a chocolate chip cookie in my hand and I took a bite of it and I felt a fog in my head and I felt really high. I was so scared to hear voices. I didn’t know why I forgot why I quit smoking and why I just kept taking eating it. It’s because I watched an episode of Nurse Jackie on Netflix last night, “Apple bong” where she took hits off an apple bong she made and baked special chocolate chip cookies for a patient.
It looks like I’ve been getting more readers on this blog. It’s too bad that I’m going to discontinue this site. I don’t know when I’ll come back. I will be blogging here for a couple more weeks. If you’ve been reading my past blogs, I mentioned that I quit quitting. Just because I’m closing this one doesn’t mean I have quit. I have 2 new blogs that I’ve created: One, for job-evaluations. I will blog everyday and see how I’m doing daily with my new job. It’s a great job and I want to advance in this career. And the second blog is about my life, basically. It’ll focus on self-improvement and all aspects of my life and how to achieve my goals by sharing insights on motivational speakers and authors… sharing articles that can helps us get there. You will see me grow from there as this year progresses till the next new years eve. I want to write over there because this one was tied about my mental illness. I don’t want to go in that direction anymore. I don’t want to write about my depression, or my mania, or my past. Maybe someday, I want to publish an e-book because I’m so talkative and I can’t write less than 500 words and in that ebook I will write about my past hospitalizations, the amazing people I met at the residential treatment center that I was in for 90 days and then another 90 days. And how I rose from all those failures and conquered it from recovery to journey. I have a lot of those but I feel like now is not that time. The 31 day writing challenge was fun. It just goes to show how powerful taking one day at a time can really get you to meet your goals and challenges… So, those two blogs are going to be about my life but without mentioning my mental illness anymore. I want this for myself. I haven’t written in 11 years so I really need a lot of practice, too.
If you want to know the 2 new blogs that I have, just email me. kelofduty @ gmail.com and include your blog’s site address so I know you’re legit. I’m heading up there now to get started. I don’t have resolutions. I have goals and plans and they usually start on my birthday. So, every 8th of the month, I do check ins and I start any type of “resolutions” on the 8th, but I’m going to go ahead and start my blogs now so I’m on a roll by the time it hits the 8th of January. I mean, it’s just harsh to start your resolutions (if you do) on the 1st. you gotta’ ease into it or you’re going to end up beating yourself up and giving up completely. Just know that it takes one day at a time… and they add up in the end. I skipped some days during my 31 day challenge, but I still took it one day at a time and for the most part, I kept to the habit. Now, I’ve completed the challenge. If I can do that for a month, what more with other new plans and goals in different aspects of my life.
Next topic on my blog… what a jack ass I was about my landlord. She proved me wrong during the Holidays. Let’s see what this new week of 2016 brings.
And remember, blow shit out of the water and go pro.